Question and Answer

Question: Are we actually taking a vacation from our job OR from our phone, cell phone, and email? Does anyone remember what life was like before that?

An Attempt at an Answer: Husband Joe posed this question to me before a week long trip to the Northwoods of Wisconsin. Now for me, going on vacation during the summer has always been very odd. I'm not really stressed, and getting to sleep in until 9:00am isn't really any different than any other day during summer. September through May, I known what Joe means. And I think the answer is that we are still taking vacations away from our jobs, because having cell phones and the Internet is too instrumental in our lives to ever really take a vacation from it.

My evidence? This past week, I wrongly assumed that my cell phone would work at the resort we were staying at. Why wouldn't it? And I told myself that I really only wanted it to work to make meeting up with my girlfriends, who were coming to stay, easier. But I have to admit that I was glad the second we drove into a neighboring town and my phone worked. I was elated that Joe had brought his laptop with so I could check the weather (cold and rainy). I told myself not to check my email, but I couldn't help it. I LIKE checking my e-mail. I LIKE having a cell phone. I was not alone. Husband Joe checked his work e-mail and cell phone throughout the week ("It'll make Monday easier"). He even checked the Musky Boards he so adamantly keeps up with. My girlfriends that came with also checked their phones or texted with family members/friends. So as much as I think we'd like to say we are taking a vacation from our jobs AND cell phones, email, and the Internet, I just don't think we really want to.

The view from the basement

If you ever want a new perspective on your family, live in the the basement. Husband Joe and I are going on month three of living with the 'rents. All in all, I'd say things are going well. I am an adult woman living in my parents home with my husband. I've never felt safer in my life. And I've realized a few things that I never saw as a kid.

*The little tifts my parents have really keep their marriage alive and are more about loving than arguing.
*My dad has eaten the same breakfast (one slice of peanut butter toast, one slice of honey toast, one banana, and a glass of orange juice) for over thirty years.
*It's true: my dad has really never washed a load of laundry or cleaned the oven. Not because he can't, but because mom won't let him.
*My parents love being parents, but it's obvious they love being grandparents more.
*My mom does spoil my brother more than me. But my dad spoils me way more.

But mostly, I've learned that my family works very hard. All in our in different ways, but we're very hard working individuals. My brother and mother are hands-on type hard workers. If someone is in need of help on a project, they'll do it meticulously until it is finished. Or if there is downtime, they'll create a project to do meticulously until it is finished. They are crafty, creative and loving in ways that I could only begin to understand. My father and I on the other hand, work hard mentally. We are thinking, reading, and writing constantly. We digest every piece of information we can in our environments so we can help others with knowledge.

I think I've always known these things about my family, but it really has taken my adult self, with a view from the basement, to understand them.

I reserve the right to be a girl

As a kid, I was usually picked last for the neighborhood baseball game. Not because I was that bad, but because I was the only girl. In junior high and high school, I found myself with a lot of guy friends--never any boyfriends. In college, living in a house with seven girls, I found refuge in the neighborhood of the boys hockey team. Typically, I get along better with male co-workers. And I've always prided myself on being, "one of the guys." Which meant I could do anything a guy could. However, as I've gotten older, I reserve the right to be a girl.

Case in point: last night Husband Joe and I took my parents out fishing on Lake Minnetonka. A beautiful night for a cruise past absurdly beautiful houses and to wet a few lines. We all caught some small pan fish, and as I would reel in my prize, I would shout to Joe to put down his line and be prepared to take off my fish. As the night continued, more and more boats started fishing close by us (they must of heard us say "walleye"--little did they know it was the smallest walleye ever!). Soon one of the boats close by caught a fish. The girl on the boat caught, reeled, and promptly--without any nod to her male companion--took the fish off the line. Something about this made me think that I could and should take my next fish off the line. Some competitive girl drive in me said "you will do that, too." Not too long after, I caught a cute little guy (or girl?). Step one: reel it in. Done. Step two: touch the fish. Done. Step three: hold the fish in your grip. Done. Step four: take out the hook and let fish free. Done? No. The fish flopped out of my hands and went flying into the boat. For the safety of the fish, I summoned Husband Joe over to finish my work.

I reserved the right to be a girl.

I don't want to portray that I think of "girl" as weak or inferior. It's just that I've realized, and am now okay with the fact, that there are certain things that men can do better (and of course there are a lot of things women can do better than men). More than anything, it's about an education for the last girl standing on the neighborhood baseball team: it's okay to be a girl.