Just Say It

Please, just say it.

Why is that we as people can’t just say what we want to say? Why do we have to tell people we are going to say something? I teach English. No, correction, I teach high school students. And more than three times a day I hear, “Mrs. O, I have question”. My response is always the same, “I have an answer”. It usually catches my students off guard and they laugh a little realizing what I just said. That’s right: don’t tell me you have a question, ask me the question. Don’t tell me you need to tell me something, just tell me. Don’t say, “this might offend you”, just offend me. Don’t tell me that something reminds you of something, show me how or why it does.

And what is with people who feel the need to announce what they are going to do? “I’m going to the bathroom”. Okay, go. At the doctor’s office recently the technologist described every move she was about to commit to my already pained leg. Don’t tell me that you are going to inflict pain on me, just inflict the pain and be done with it.

And what about people who talk just for the sake of talking? Recently a student yelled across the room “Mrs. O, she (girl in class) called me an asshole”. My response, “Well, are you one?”. It took the student a second, and then he said, “Yes, I guess I was being one”. Now I could have yelled at both students for using inappropriate language in class, but my hunch (and it was confirmed) was that this individual needed some sort of attention right then and he used words to gain it.

Do we as people (and yes, I’m including myself in this group because I’m guilty of it, too) add in fillers because we are afraid of what we are going to say? Perhaps we need the fillers because we don’t really stop to think about what we want to say, so by providing a filler we can buy ourselves time to edit our thoughts? Do we say things just for the sake of filling air, so we don’t have to sit and think?

Silence seems to be both sacred and feared for people. When too many people are talking or someone is recklessly using words, I get annoyed. And yet, when people keep quiet, I think they are judging me or my words. Therefore, I think we should just say what we need to say.

There, I just said it.